8 April

Most of the day I have spend to send faxes around to Croatian press agencies about the 10th of April, there are many people who like to declare that day to a national day. On that day in the Second World War, the Nazi declared the republic of Croatia independent. Most Croats however react a little more sensitive, it is not so nice to be reminded on the Nazis, who killed a lot of the Jewish population in this area. The day before a left the German government declared that neo-Nazis has been fighting in the Croatian special forces during the last months, together with a national day on the 10th of April, the total economical crisis, this HOS soldiers, the total devotion for some of the army leader, you have all the things you need to make a fascistic cocktail.

During this work I was establish contact with faxes in Croatian, during one of this connections the connection broke and couldn't be re-established, later that day I heard that the press agency was bombed out the moment that I was calling there and some people were killed in that office.

Later that day new news from Sarajevo came in and in trance, I have been typing the news what people translated from Croatian, how many people were killed, fighting in the streets, medicines and food needed, etc. Later that evening I really flipped out, just at the moment that I thought this is enough I like to go to bed and dream from other things, Ecotopia i.e. on a nice Adriatic island, an alarming fax came in, over 1000 people were brutally killed in a small village near Sarajevo (by hanging, cutting their necks, etc.). Moreover, people around me started to discuss if that message was real or not. After putting it on the net I had to get out, I feel so hopeless here, they only thing what I am doing is standing in the way for those people who work here, and the thing I can do is typing texts into a stupid computer, and nearly 300 kilometre from me lots of people are killed.

Afterwards we went drinking, for the time being I want to stay here, I don't there to go and leave those people alone, back to the civilized world, what civilized world, the riffles which are killing here are Israeli, Russian, Belgian, American, French, who is civilized. Those bloody Blue Berets stay in the caserns they are not allowed to go out as long as the fighting’s go on.

Europe, World, how for the hell is this possible? How it is possible that the world keeps on turning like nothing is happening here?

Please whenever you see possibilities to help the people around here in any way, let me know.

See you tomorrow